A Few Things OSU Fans Should Be Able To Appreciate About OU, As Told By An OSU Graduate

As a lifelong fan of Oklahoma State sports, there’s many reasons to be jealous of our foe from the south. Here’s 8 of those reasons.

1. Toby Keith

Patriotic bad ass. Country singer. Mullet wearer. Die hard OU fan.

One missing piece of the OSU puzzle is a big time non-athlete celebrity fan, which OU has in this man’s man (OSU has Garth Brooks, but let’s be honest… Garth is an absent step father at best). I mean, he and his men drink whiskey, and his horses drink beer… That’s like, the manliest thing ever. In OU fandom history, I’m not sure there’s been a bigger fan than Toby.

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Here’s a sexy pic of Toby and the boys we found on widerightnattylite.com

Fan is short for fanatic, and the definition of fanatic is Toby Keith. Toby can be found standing shoulder to shoulder with 18-23-year-old studs on the OU sideline most fall Saturdays.

 

He’s staple topic for ridiculously hot, ridiculously boring sideline reporters on game days. Toby is rarely critical of the crimson and cream, which is a vital celebrity fan characteristic.

 

In the meantime, to fill OSU’s celebrity fan void, we’ll just continue playing “Should Have Been a Cowboy,” performed by? You guessed it…(cue Youtube footage).

2. O’Connell’s

Drinking is fun, and no ethnicity does it better than the Irish (except maybe Native Americans; but you’d have to stave off old, wrinkly, cigarette smoking lady slot players at a local casino to get to one of their bars). O’Connell’s has been serving the cold ones up right since 1968.

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Sure, the original location closed in 2010 (after my visit), and they relocated to the ‘trendy’ Campus Corner area adding a few more frat bro regulars. But O’Conell’s has managed to keep their integrity and most of it’s character. Overrated? Yep. But most historic collegiate watering holes are.

I’ve been to O’Connell’s once. Talk about being behind enemy lines. It was a bedlam game day and we were lucky to escape a Braveheart-esque fate. But that’s the way it should be. Passion, hostility, psychosis…that’s what makes a collegiate bar great. And that’s what an OSU fan should get for thinking they can party at an OU bar on a game day. In God’s Country, we would have pulled you up a bale of hay and given you a Natty Light. But hey, what do we know.

3. It’s Not Just BBQ, It’s BOOMER-Q: Interesting Running Backs

OSU’s great running backs are boring. Heisman winner and NFL Hall of Famer Barry Sanders (arguably the best runner in NFL history) is now a car dealer. Zzzzzzzz.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=q7S8wN_tL5Y

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NFL Hall of Famer Thurman Thomas (arguably the best runner in Tecmo Super Bowl history) hasn’t been heard from in God knows how long.

Where’s the glitz and glam, boys?

 

 

 

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In Norman.

Heisman winner and NFL Hall of Fame lock Adrian Peterson (who will more than likely end with better professional numbers than Barry Sanders) tried to auction his T-Rex skull on Entourage, and if he would have included the girl, Vince would have bought it. Plus it was a steal at $250K.

He simultaneously likes and doesn’t like gay people. When asked by NewsOK if he would like to have a gay teammate, Peterson said “it really wouldn’t bother me that much.” But then he goes on to clarify that “simple things, as far as showers and things like that, you know, of course, anyone would be uncomfortable.” Yeah, unless your gay–in which case I think showering with other men would be extremely comfortable, and probably a hell of a lot of fun (apparently AD wasn’t in a fraternity… those dudes take showers together and seem to love it). And are we sure that wanting to shower with Adrian Peterson makes you gay?

adrian-peterson-fiancee-1In a later interview on SiriusXM, Peterson said, “I have relatives who are gay. I am not biased towards them. I still treat them the same. I love ‘em.” I am sure your homosexual relatives appreciate the kind words. Sure, Peterson’s dad made some poor decisions [link article] that landed him in prison, but that’s no reason to take shots at him all these years later. In making clear his stance on homosexuality, Adrian said that he’s still “not cool with that” and “that’s something I don’t believe in” (“that” presumably meaning the gays or gayness or gay marriage or some other imaginary, uncool thing). Oh and Adrian, your last name is Peterson. Peter. Son. Deal with it.

 

I almost forgot…. His girl was in Playboy, for Pete-rson’s sake!!! NSFW links here and here.

For no reason whatsoever, here’s Peterson dressed as the Hulk and some hot chick dressed as something for Halloween:

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Then there’s Billy Sims. He sold his Heisman trophy to start a local BBQ restaurant chain. Does it get any better? What dedication! (Okay, so that’s not entirely true. He sold his heisman trophy due to financial troubles, then unrelatedly opened a local BBQ chain).

Billy-Team-Pose-afro-300x227Is anyone else as excited as me to hear Guy Fieri yell “It’s not just plain, mary jane BBQ, it’s stiff armin’, hurdlin, touchdown-delicious Boomer-Q” on a Diner’s Drive In’s and Dive’s episode?

Getting rid of the afro was the only mistake Sims’ has ever made. Do yourself a favor, William, and bring the ‘fro back.

 

Oh, De’Mond Parker. Another great Oklahoma running back turned entrepreneur, Parker was the only reason to watch an OU football game for a couple of those late 90s seasons. His rare speed displayed on long touchdown scampers was impressive. The back and forth performance of he and Ricky Williams in the 1997 Red River Rivalry is my most fond memory of Big D.

http://youtu.be/bztP60yZqyo

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De’Mond Parker’s mugshot. Bummer.

He played three seasons in the NFL, but made a bigger splash in the local drug game.

 

 

Parker was arrested in June 2013 for trafficking crack cocaine (he possessed 28 grams, to be exact) and possession of marijuana. Wow!

 

4. Their Mascot Is Based Off A Bunch Of Cheaters

The nickname ‘Sooners’ comes from a group of douche bags who jumped the gun on the 1889 Oklahoma Land Run and claimed their stake a day before the honest participants had a chance, thus securing the most lucrative parcels of land with no competition. The nickname ‘Cowboys’ is so modest and humble, and based off hardworking, underpaid farmers and ranchers who plowed the plains, shaping Oklahoma as we know it today. Yuck.

5. Big Red Sports And Imports

Big Red Sports and Imports is the (un)official employer of Sooner football players. The University of Oklahoma brass had to actually ban players from working at the dealership due to the amount of controversy. Rhett Bomar and J.D. Quinn were released from the team amid allegations of being “over-compensated” while working for Big Red. It was reported that Bomar receieved $18,000 for working 5 hours/week, when he was supposed to be working 40.

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OU great Miss Kenny Stills. Again, there’s absolutely no reason this photo should be in this post.

Bomar was a servicable QB at Oklahoma, but had nowhere near the talent of Josh Heupel, Jason White, Sam Bradford or Cale Gundy. His lack of ‘greatness’ is probably why he the Stoops clan didn’t mind kicking him off the team. Adrian Peterson had a shady dealing with the dealership, but kicking him off would have probably cost Stoops his job (probably not, but you let AD date your wife if that’s what he wants). He “bought” a Lexus before he had financing in place, drove it for a few weeks before he decided to return it due to the payments being too expensive. Honestly, there may have been less than respectable intentions in this situation, but everyone has test driven an expensive car for a few days they had no intention of buying.

I’m sure OSU players are paid, but it would be nice if our players knew up front where to go. I think keeping how Cowboys are paid on the DL negatively affects prospective recruits. Hopefully this point will eventually become mute. Pay these kids. Now. Enough with the “they get room, board and tuition”. Who cares. Coaches can make $5M+, but all the kids get is shitty cafeteria food? College football should be the NFL developmental league, and the kids more than deserve to get a taste. But I digress…….

6. Winning Tradition

I guess we need to throw in a serious reason why O-State fans are jealous of their southern rival. Did you know the OU football team has won 7 national championships? No? Apparently, you’ve never been within 100 yards of a Sooner fan.

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Gif of The Ultimate Jim Traber being fed Mazzio’s by….?

But in the words of The Ultimate, “I bow down to ‘em.” Outside of the John Blake era, OU has been a perennial college football power.

No one can argue with the greatness of OU’s football tradition. They’ve been great forever, and since the arrival of Bob Stoops, OU has been ranked in the BCS Top 10 more often than not, with a legitimate chance of playing for a national championship year in and year out.

(Bob’s 1 for 4, but we won’t hold that against him.)

And with that success comes expectations–something Poke fans are just recently learning to deal with.

7. Boomer Sooner

That phrase is nails on a chalkboard for OSU fans. I’ve been to a few bedlam games in Norman, and, honestly, there’s no sweeter sounding chant in college football. We have Orange Power. Which, I believe is the title of a Powerpuff Girls spinoff. (Note: The song Boomer Sooner is suicidally atrocious).

8. Beautiful Blue Oasis

Norman is a beautiful oasis of blue surrounded by an overbearing amount of fiery, hellish red. I kid, my Republican (which is 99.99% of you) friends!!! In all honesty, I’ve thought about moving to Norman. The culture is as hip as any trendy neighborhood in OKC, with a top notch college campus anchoring the awesomeness.

Great restaurants, great bars, the Norman Music Fest and Sugars are just a few examples of what make Norman great.

-@JordansMustache

Featured image from texasstate.rivals.com

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